Movie Wisdom

[cooljayhu]

We all know it movies contain alot of wise and usually funny quotes. Here are my faves:

Knocked Up

Pete: [to Ben Stone] Marriage is like that show ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’, but it’s not funny. All the problems are the same, but you know instead of all the funny, pithy dialogue, everybody is really pissed off and tense. Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.

40-Year Old Virgin

Cal: It doesn't matter if your ugly as f**k or ugly as shit, it's about talking to women.

Cal: You're *gay* now?
David: No, I'm not gay I'm just celibate.
Cal: I think? I mean, that sounds ga- I just want you to know this is like the first conversation of like three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like... there's this and then in a year it's like, "Oh you know, I kinda wanna, ya know, get back out there but I think I like guys" and then there's the big, "Oh I'm I'm a g-gay guy now".

Big Daddy

Initiating the coversation is half the battle.

Training Day

You're in a priviledge position to learn a thing or two, so keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.

And my personal favorite ever rant by Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting in response to a douche bag quoting books at a bar

Of course that's your contention. You're a first year grad student. You just got finished readin' some Marxian historian -- Pete Garrison probably. You're gonna be convinced of that 'til next month when you get to James Lemon, and then you're gonna be talkin' about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna last until next year -- you're gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin' about, you know, the Pre-Revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization... Wood drastically -- Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth.' You got that from Vickers, 'Work in Essex County,' page 98, right? Yeah, I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or do you...is that your thing? You come into a bar. You read some obscure passage and then pretend...you pawn it off as your own idea just to impress some girls and embarrass my friend? See, the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you're gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One: don't do that. And two: You dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a f----n' education you coulda' got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.

And lastly and probably most profound also from Good Will Hunting

You don't know about real loss, 'cause that only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself.

[Jay [FSU]]

40 Year Old Virgin

- I am ugly as Michigan by traditional standards. But I get women.
- I went down to Tijuana, Mexico for the weekend. We went to this show, a woman michiganing a horse. We were like yeah, this is cool, a woman michiganing a horse! But you get there, and it's not that cool. It really is a woman michiganing a horse. I kinda felt bad for the horse.

Dumb and Dumber:

- No way... That's great... WE LANDED ON THE MOON!

[Jay [FSU]]

Also, do Seinfeld quotes count?

[cooljayhu]

if they impart wisdom yes although I am not sure Seinfeld has ever had a message other than hilarious

[cooljayhu]

Shawshank Redemption

Red: Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.

[I am a huge CUNT]

Coach Carter


Coach Ken Carter: What is your deepest fear?
Timo Cruz: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

[Freak93]

Big Daddy: Initiating the conversation is half the battle.

40 Year Old Virgin: Just watch the whole movie. That is a lot of wisdom on muff diving.

Dazed and Confused: Again, a lot from this movie.

[JackTheRipper]

I don't know why but I find this one from South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut really funny everytime:

Stan: Do you guys know where I can find the clitoris?
Cartman: What is that, like finding Jesus or something?

And a gem from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back:

Jay: YO BABY, YOU EVER HAD YOUR ASSHOLE LICKED BY A FAT MAN IN AN OVERCOAT?!

[cooljayhu]

40 Year Old Virgin

Cal: I found that the more seeds that I planted the more pot I would ultimately be able to smoke... go plant that seed