Suicide

[jct32]

I'm going to follow Spartan and say something really personal. I would really appreciate it if you guys would not make fun of me either.

Recently with everything going on in my life, with school, sports, females, and my own confindence (which is non-existant) I'm sometimes get depressed it usually happens on Sunday nights when it hits me and that is because I really don't do anything on the weekends. Well I remember in the summer I pretty much isolated myself and my parents played softball on Sunday nights. Well for the past year or so I have pretty much been addicted to pornography. I went along with my buisness and afterwards I felt horrible, just the worst I have ever felt, I had not had the greatest weekend with some stuff from friends, and ect. and I just wanted to die. Now, I can't even stand the thought of hurting myself because I just couldn't do it, but that night I was praying that the lord would just make me have an heart attack and end my misery because like I said I couldn't hurt myself.

Well, things have turned around this year I have pretty much laid off the porn, and I feel great because that was really an addiction. I started to look at things postitively again and it seemed like my life did a 180. Now some other things still depress me, like the fact that awhile back I was told that the girl I liked, liked me too; and that still gets me sometimes because I have not the confindence to ask her out.

But something that has really helped me out recently is I basically keep a journal. Now its not some sissy crap or nothing, it's just thoughts on how my day was and where I can improve myself, and I give myself an inspirtation quote at the end of it, just incase I look back and find a journal that relates to how I'm feeling then.

I'm glad to finally see a thread like this on DC, its a good opprutunity where we can give each other some support.

[bdes]

I to this day deal with anti-depressives. I have be depresed non stop for years. Not to arrogant cause I am in no way but I am semi-popular and have quite a lot of friends. My problem is I hate being skinny. I have been really skinny and tall all my life and when people say something about it even if its a joke I just get down on myself.

Even last year I had a very beautiful girlfriend and a lot of friends but during that time I just felt like it was all going to crash down at once and it did. Everything just feel apart and I time and time again thought of suicide but I never went through with it. I just feel like whenever I am doing good I just can't stop thinking about what everything is going to be like when it all falls apart.

Spartan mind if I ask where in Indiana you used to live?

[I am a huge CUNT]

nittylionsrock said:

Spartan mind if I ask where in Indiana you used to live?

Gary. Real shit hole. Well, at least compared to now. I did have a home there so it's not that bad I guess. Maybe I just got used to it and appreciated what I had at the time.

We did live in some suburb outside of Bloomington with some relatives for a little while, but I really don't remember that and that was for like a month.

BTW bdes, I kind of had the same thing happen with everything falling out at the same time. Which, as many remember, was the time I left the site. Fortunately I knew suicide wasn't the answer this time.

JCT, your right about this being a different type of thread. DC needed something like this for a change. It just shows you how much you don't know about people and how common depression is.

[jct32]

Yea it makes me feel better reading all these posts, I'm just glad I was able to get over my addiction. Now there just other areas I need to improve on, such as self-esteem/confindence.

[McGahee]

Never been truly depressed or suicidal. By no means am I trying to bash anyone here, but I think mentally and emotionally I'm a lot stronger than most people. Takes a lot to really get me seriously stressed or worried or frustrated about something. Maybe I care too little about how others think about me or what could go wrong in the future, but it's just something in my mind that a lot of people unfortunately don't have that things will work out. Don't get me wrong, I've dealt with a lot of things similar in severity to what many of you guys felt, but I'm able to overcome these feelings that you guys and a lot of other people face. To be honest, it's probably why I run. It's definitely a physically demanding sport, but as far as racing itself goes, it's nearly all mental. I may not be anywhere near as in good shape as another guy, but I feel mentally fresh while I run. In fact running really is a great way to clear your head and relax you.

I would really hope that nobody here would ever consider taking your life. In my opinion it's one of the most selfish things you could do, although I certainly realize you're not trying to hurt other people intentionally. In the end you just wind up with a whole lot of people sad and missing you, and instead of holding out longer and seeing where life takes you, you're lying down 6 feet under.

[I am a huge CUNT]

After my little incident, it takes a lot for me now like you said McGahee. I don't really care about what certain people think, because I know a lot of people who do care about me.

[JacktheRipper]

I have a question, has anyone here been diagnosed with major depressive disorder or any type of clinical depression?

I'm just curious if I'm the only one here.

[TJFOR3]

I don't have or depression and have never been depressed/suicidal. I think it's because I spend virtually all my time outside of school doing things I want to do with the people I want to hang out with. I don't have anyone forcing me to do anything I don't want and I don't hang around or do stuff with kids I don't like just to "be cool." Whenever I'm pissed I usually just go play golf by myself and I just don't think about anything other than my shots and it calms me down a lot.

[Keeper]

bamarulz2020 said:

I have a question, has anyone here been diagnosed with major depressive disorder or any type of clinical depression?

I'm just curious if I'm the only one here.

Want to say I was when I was younger, but I have been out of the therapist/psychiatrist circle for a while.

[Loki]

Don't mean to bump this but I need help.

How can I help my friend who I'm quite worried may commit suicide?

[D-Mac]

loki1230 said:

Don't mean to bump this but I need help.

How can I help my friend who I'm quite worried may commit suicide?

u beat his ass.

Seriously I went through depression a couple of years ago and it was because my stepmom and dad were always putting me down and shit, i saw a few therapists which did nothing at all.

However not once, did i think about suicide, I think suicide is a pussy ass way to go out and to anyone who does it I show no respect for and will never bow to their grave, EVER.

Over the course of the end of last school year I started to stop my wigger ways, I got some new friends, and now lifes been a ton better, to be honest I dont get mad, its hard to piss me off. so glad i left that white boy gangsta shit behind, its sooo immature.

[JackTheRipper]

kcswagga816 said:

loki1230 said:

Don't mean to bump this but I need help.

How can I help my friend who I'm quite worried may commit suicide?

u beat his ass.

Seriously I went through depression a couple of years ago and it was because my stepmom and dad were always putting me down and shit, i saw a few therapists which did nothing at all.

However not once, did i think about suicide, I think suicide is a pussy ass way to go out and to anyone who does it I show no respect for and will never bow to their grave, EVER.

Over the course of the end of last school year I started to stop my wigger ways, I got some new friends, and now lifes been a ton better, to be honest I dont get mad, its hard to piss me off. so glad i left that white boy gangsta shit behind, its sooo immature.

I disagree that it's a "pussy ass way to go out." As bama has stated, people who do so are usually not in the right frame of mind when they do it.

Loki, I would consider speaking to his/her parents about the issue because there's probably not alot you can do about it otherwise. They might not like it, but if you can help them, it'd be worth it.

[JacktheRipper]

I've been where your friend is loki. Talk to him, listen. Listening is the biggest thing, because it's important to just get that shit out in the open. Don't be judgemental or even try and help just talk shit out.

If you really think he's going to kill himself, don't be scared to call his parents or even 911 and get him help. If he's that depressed, it'd be very easy to end it all. It's a tough situation man.

[Loki]

bamarulz2020 said:

I've been where your friend is loki. Talk to him, listen. Listening is the biggest thing, because it's important to just get that shit out in the open. Don't be judgemental or even try and help just talk shit out.

If you really think he's going to kill himself, don't be scared to call his parents or even 911 and get him help. If he's that depressed, it'd be very easy to end it all. It's a tough situation man.

That's pretty much what I did, just sat there and listened. I was on the phone with him until about 5:30 in the morning and then called him again around 6 to make sure he hadn't done anything stupid. He told me to get off the phone if I wanted a few times but I reassured him it was cool and I had no problem helping him out and only let him go when he said he was going to go because I wasn't going to argue with him. I called him again at 6 to make sure he was alright and he swore he wasn't going to do anything and how it would be stupid and pathetic to give up like that. I let him go again because once again I wasn't going to argue.

[JacktheRipper]

That's good just be there for him and try to get him help. Hopefully he won't need meds and just needs to talk about things. Either way, he's lucky to have a friend like you.

My best friend, who I have known since I was a baby, was dealing with something similar a few months ago. Stayed on the phone with him for four hours, finally going to bed at 3:30 with a test at 8:00 the next morning. It was nessisary though, because he told me later he was basically going to kill himself and had a note written had I not picked up the phone. It's amazing how easy it is to get that desperate. Most people don't understand and get judgemental about it. If you were really in that place though...you understand it is not that cut and dry.

[D-Mac]

damn loki i respect you to the fullest bro. Thats some really cool shit to do.

[jct32]

I'm not thinking about suicide, because like someone stated earlier, but man the depression is getting to me.

I can't catch a break on anything.
It seems like everyone at school is in on some big secret about me and everyone knows it but me. Hell, one girl who used to greet me enthusiaticaly now hardly notices me at all. I was sitting next to my buddy (who is basically a pimp, girls walk up to him and just give him hugs randomly), and this girl I know walks up and gives him a hug and proceedes to talk to him not noticing me at all, so I intervened and greeted her and I got a "Oh, hey" Now it wouldn't bother me that much if it wasn't everyone who was doing this, and the constant cut-downs. I literally came home from school today and cried, which I think is alot better than going and committing suicide.

[I am a huge CUNT]

It happened to me before too jct. You just gotta keep fighting. Be positive. It's hard. Things will get better. Just be nice, go out of your way to be nice. It works.

[jct32]

Yea I know what your saying, I got up thinking "This Monday is going to be BA". But my optimism was my downfall, hell how bad of a loser do you have to be when people won't message you back on myspace.

On the positive side though this good-looking girl in my Spanish class complimented me today on my hair (new haircut). But she's got a boyfriend so no bueno. But if she didn't my buddy who I mentioned above would go after her, actually he still is trying.

[D-Mac]

i know how ur feelin jct, but seriously bro who cares if a girl doesnt notice u, that just means shes either shy or a bitch, dont worry about little stuff like that bro.