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Post by I am a huge CUNT on Oct 20, 2007 14:25:37 GMT -5
Okay, I recently got a girlfriend 10 days ago. She's absolutely amazing and we have been talking for quite awhile. We basically have been close, but we just started going out last week.
Basically, she's very shy and I have to do all the talking, which is what I need some help with. Now since we have known eachother, you might think, well how in the world did you become close if she's shy as hell. Well truthfully, I think it was a lack of pressure on both of our parts and we didn't really see eachother as much as we do now, so I guess we had more to say since we didn't talk everyday. She rides my bus in the morning, and that's when it is most difficult to talk. Or just around school and things like that. I rely on things that are happening or recent things for conversation. Or when it's just me and her, that's usually a hard time to come up with things to say.
We can talk a lot on the phone, but the next day on the bus or something, it's like we are all talked out. I am always wondering if she thinks "wow he is boring" or something like that. I want to keep the conversation going, and I want to make her laugh. I usually can make her laugh when we have things to say but I think i sound like a complete retard when I come up with something random.
I think maybe I just feel this way because she is a year older and I don't want to really say a stupid joke I find funny, then seem immature to her.
Basically, does anyone have any advice about shy girlfriends? I know this girl will open up eventually, but I need to get to that point first. Does anyone have any strategies on making a girl open up more? Or even finding out how crazy she is (like what she finds funny, etc.)?
Any advice or conversation starter ideas or something would really help me out. I'm sure some of you have gone through the same thing.
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Just Blaze
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Post by Just Blaze on Oct 20, 2007 14:34:14 GMT -5
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Post by chosenone58 on Oct 20, 2007 15:51:12 GMT -5
Do you guys have anything in common? Do you know what her interests are? TV shows, hobbies, etc.
Talk about stuff that she likes....
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Post by Freak93 on Oct 20, 2007 17:11:46 GMT -5
She rides my bus in the morning Atta boy!  If it were me, I would just go with trying to make her laugh. Don't worry about her being a year older, if she was five years older, then it might be an issue. Just be yourself, if you can make her laugh go with it. Just keep in mind what girls find funny in comparison to guys and you won't come off as immature. If you sit there and make constant toilet jokes, then she might start thinking of you as immature. |
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bdes
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Post by bdes on Oct 20, 2007 20:17:38 GMT -5
Something like this happened to me. She was very shy for the first few weeks and I found out that if you talk about her, she will start to open up. In this case it was Volleyball, she played and she could talk hours about it. After that, things just took off.
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Keeper
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Post by Keeper on Oct 20, 2007 20:34:39 GMT -5
I've almost always dated older, it's a non-issue so long as you're mature. Don't worry about whether you'll look like a dumbass. I do/say stuff that makes me look like a retard a ton, but if she has feelings, those aren't the things she remembers, it's the time you made her laugh hysterically, etc. You should never date someone you feel uncomfortable around; it simply won't work. Just prepare yourself. If you're worried about what to talk about, think about things you can talk about before you get on the bus. If you feel like you have direction, you exert confidence, and you don't look like a fool.
Basically just make it work, or don't date her.
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Post by I am a huge CUNT on Oct 20, 2007 22:48:05 GMT -5
Like it's not really bad right now, since we just started dating, but I just don't want to be a little farther down the road and still have the same issue. Thanks for the help guys. Keeper, I can always count on you for straight forward stuff, even though you don't like me.  |
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D-Mac
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Post by D-Mac on Oct 23, 2007 21:42:15 GMT -5
Something like this happened to me. She was very shy for the first few weeks and I found out that if you talk about her, she will start to open up. In this case it was Volleyball, she played and she could talk hours about it. After that, things just took off. Bet that got old really soon tho lol. |
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Keeper
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Post by Keeper on Oct 23, 2007 21:56:51 GMT -5
Something like this happened to me. She was very shy for the first few weeks and I found out that if you talk about her, she will start to open up. In this case it was Volleyball, she played and she could talk hours about it. After that, things just took off. Bet that got old really soon tho lol. It's not like you have to listen, you just not your head, and occasionally agree with a little detail you caught. |
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Post by chosenone58 on Oct 23, 2007 22:17:53 GMT -5
Wow, Keeper. LOL It would be nice to catch more than a detail. I'm sure she'll catch on that you're not listening.
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Keeper
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Post by Keeper on Oct 23, 2007 22:41:53 GMT -5
Wow, Keeper. LOL It would be nice to catch more than a detail. I'm sure she'll catch on that you're not listening. If you want to have any success dating, you have to be an asshole. If you can get yourself to do that, you're halfway there. When it comes to casual stuff, and trying to hook up with a girl, it's easy work. My problem is that when I seek out legitimate relationships, I can't get myself to do that... and surprise surprise, I end up fucked. There are reasons why you shouldn't pay attention. Odds are, volleyball is not that exciting at all. But the truth is, she knows you probably don't give a shit. But if you occasionally throw in a relevant comment, amongst being an asshole about whatever she's saying, then you're in the clear. |
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Post by IXI B@CkSt0P IXI on Oct 24, 2007 8:57:56 GMT -5
Actually there has been quite a few times when me and my new girlfriend are in a conversation and im thinking about something totally different. I just nod and agree.
Also, the asshole thing for sure works. I even tell her im an asshole and she is all like no your not...
Keeper for sure hit it perfect.
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Post by SilverChaosVII on Oct 24, 2007 10:10:07 GMT -5
Actually there has been quite a few times when me and my new girlfriend are in a conversation and im thinking about something totally different. I just nod and agree. Also, the asshole thing for sure works. I even tell her im an asshole and she is all like no your not... Keeper for sure hit it perfect. This really is true... you can't be 100% asshole or else they will def not put up with it... but you have to be one a fair share of the time. I just learned this with my most recent girlfriend and she is currently my longest relationship lol |
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Post by IXI B@CkSt0P IXI on Oct 24, 2007 10:13:14 GMT -5
Yea, I found the secret to be is that they have to have a little bit of doubt in there minds. That way there always trying to impress you to get rid of that doubt.
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Post by chosenone58 on Oct 24, 2007 17:49:28 GMT -5
Y'all are in some weird relationships. lol
I agree with Backstop about having a little doubt, because that's the player's way. But don't be a total asshole.
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Post by Freak93 on Oct 24, 2007 17:52:29 GMT -5
Y'all are in some weird relationships. lol I agree with Backstop about having a little doubt, because that's the player's way. But don't be a total asshole. I don't think any of the guys here are. You just have to do it a little bit. If you don't, you will come off as a total pussy and depending on your physical appearance she may begin to question your sexuality. One time I would say laying off the asshole bit is when you are hanging out with your guy friends and talking to a group of chicks. If your friends are playing the asshole card, you might be able to pull the sensitivity card off quite nicely. However, depends a lot on the situation. |
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