Post by Freak93 on Nov 3, 2011 22:30:56 GMT -5
For Bstn...
...I'm with you in Rockland.
Of all the experiences I've had in my time in college, there are a select few which really stuck with me. Two summers ago I found myself visiting State College to attend a show with a friend. It was a Friday and luckily I had been stuck in traffic...as that forced my friend and I to go to the show the next day. In essence, Friday became a night for having a really good time downtown.
So my friend (we'll call him J) and myself started our evening going out to eat. A TGIFridays was near his apartment so we went there. The drinking began while we were there. I kept it simple with a few beers, but J went all out. Near the end of our meal, we were joined by another friend (we'll call him F). So J, F, and myself had a good time drinking as we finished up our dinner. As the bill arrived, F and myself convinced J to leave his number on the receipt for the waitress. She was out of his league (all of our leagues for that matter), but it was fun to see her reaction to it.
While the waitress situation never worked out, another friend of ours (we'll call her B) wanted to go out with us; her birthday was in the coming days. Before we know it, F, J, B, and myself are at one of our favorite hole in the wall bars in State College. Although it was B's birthday coming up, she insisted on buying us some drinks. Well, we all know where this goes. We all started to become a little sloppy. It was at that moment B's sister got a hold of us and said we needed to head to another bar and hang out with her and her friends. F couldn't join us, but the rest of us were in.
As we arrive at the next bar, we find B's sister and all of her friends. It is a pretty good mix of people, with a few more women. We all got our drinks and simply enjoyed each other's company. One girl (who we will call hippie) spent a good amount of time talking to me. Soon enough, she discovered my hair and began playing with it. She went so far as to try and braid it. That is right; I am a male who has had my hair braided in a bar.
Before we know it, the bar is announcing last call. None of were ready to end our night though. Luckily, the hippie decided to invite us all over to her apartment for a party afterwards. Of course, we were all in. J, B, and I parted ways with everybody else to get over there. As we were walking to an ATM, we run into two random girls. I got talking with one who was very friendly with me. I had been drinking, and well, let's try to have some fun. We continued walking for a few blocks, but then J and B decided we needed to part way with these girls. One of the girls tried to give me her number, but she just wasn't up to par. So, I pretended my phone was dead. Surprisingly, it worked even though she saw me on my phone earlier.
I wish I could say it ended there with her. As B, J, and I walked away, she called after me. I turned back, and before I knew it her and I were making out. She wanted me to go back to her place with her, but I knew something wasn't right if B and J were so quick to leave her. It was then I decided to put my friends ahead, and went back to them. Apparently, this girl (as B and J learned from her friend) had not only a boyfriend, but a child. It looks like I dodged a bullet there.
With that debacle behind me, it was off to the party for the rest of us. The hippie's apartment was a few blocks away so we were there rather quickly. As soon as I entered, the hippie gave me a huge hug. Inspecting the apartment we noticed a random collection of CD's, candles, and one pretty awesome collection of Troll dolls. J and I looked around and wanted to take a bunch of stuff with us. I had noticed the album Brothers by the Black Keys sitting on the table. I started looking through the liner notes and thought they were pretty interesting. So, being a good friend, J shoved them into his pocket.
We pretty much sat around for a little while, but then J and I got pretty bored so we began to explore. I went to the kitchen and found some goldfish crackers, times were good. We noticed a dark bedroom and entered. It ended up being a woman's room, and on the dresser J noticed a bottle of perfume. Like any person would be, we were curious as to what it smelled like. Naturally, we sprayed it. It smelled like rotting flowers and crotch.
We continued our adventure and ended up in a bedroom where a bunch of people were hanging out. I noticed a guy in the corner was doing something and on further inspection, I realized he was rolling a joint. As he asked J and I if he wanted any, a rude intruder entered the room: the hippie.
"Who the hell sprayed my perfume? I can smell it in here."
J and I looked at each other thinking we were busted. The hippie began walking up to everybody, trying to, literally, sniff out the criminal. She reached J and I, it was over.
"It was you. I smell it on you."
She. Was. Pissed. She looked at me and directly asked if I did it. I had two options: I could be honest and say I did it, or I could lie.
"You hugged me when I came in and you were playing with my hair at the bar. It probably just rubbed off of you onto me," I said with obvious desperation.
"Yeah, I guess that makes sense."
The hippie then turned to J. I walked out of the room and to this day I have not asked him how he got out of it. I felt bad for leaving him there to hang and don't have the courage to revisit it with him. All I know was that he walked out of the room behind me, and the door was closed.
Now normal people who have likely left. Instead, J and I needed revenge on this girl. So, I walked into her room with my goldfish crackers in hand and began pouring them in her burnt out candles. I continued to do it with other candles in the apartment. When I was done, I put the goldfish crackers back where they were in the kitchen and washed my hands. As I washed my hands, I noticed an Oscar-Meyer Weenie whistle proudly on display on a shelf in the kitchen. I could have left it, but that would be too nice. I took the whistle, got J, and we left the apartment never to return.
After we left the apartment, we headed back to J's. When we got there, we ate some cake and slept until the late afternoon the next day. Everyday I wake up and see the Black Keys liner notes hanging proudly on my wall, and everyday J sits at his desk, he sees that Weenie Whistle. Both serve as reminders to us that no matter how pissed a hippie gets at us, we always end up with the upper hand.
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I have a few more stories of this nature to share with you, dear Bstn. Hell, the night immediately after this one saw a friend break a windshield at a party, had me face to face with a girl I may have scored with the weekend before, and meeting a girl who sat and Googled everything about me as we got to know each other.
For a preview, future stories will include: snakes, scorpions, lesbians, hook-ups, a Jon Stewart "obsessee," acceptances, rejections, homeless men, old men, Irish men, cock blocks, fire alarms, lies, shame, toilets overflowing, public plungers, illegal break-ins, Marines, keg stands, dizzy bat, more lies, more shame, free drinks, free cover, free pizza, lacrosse players, arm wrestling, and even sneaking onto the field at Beaver Stadium during the homecoming game.
Get ready.
...I'm with you in Rockland.
Of all the experiences I've had in my time in college, there are a select few which really stuck with me. Two summers ago I found myself visiting State College to attend a show with a friend. It was a Friday and luckily I had been stuck in traffic...as that forced my friend and I to go to the show the next day. In essence, Friday became a night for having a really good time downtown.
So my friend (we'll call him J) and myself started our evening going out to eat. A TGIFridays was near his apartment so we went there. The drinking began while we were there. I kept it simple with a few beers, but J went all out. Near the end of our meal, we were joined by another friend (we'll call him F). So J, F, and myself had a good time drinking as we finished up our dinner. As the bill arrived, F and myself convinced J to leave his number on the receipt for the waitress. She was out of his league (all of our leagues for that matter), but it was fun to see her reaction to it.
While the waitress situation never worked out, another friend of ours (we'll call her B) wanted to go out with us; her birthday was in the coming days. Before we know it, F, J, B, and myself are at one of our favorite hole in the wall bars in State College. Although it was B's birthday coming up, she insisted on buying us some drinks. Well, we all know where this goes. We all started to become a little sloppy. It was at that moment B's sister got a hold of us and said we needed to head to another bar and hang out with her and her friends. F couldn't join us, but the rest of us were in.
As we arrive at the next bar, we find B's sister and all of her friends. It is a pretty good mix of people, with a few more women. We all got our drinks and simply enjoyed each other's company. One girl (who we will call hippie) spent a good amount of time talking to me. Soon enough, she discovered my hair and began playing with it. She went so far as to try and braid it. That is right; I am a male who has had my hair braided in a bar.
Before we know it, the bar is announcing last call. None of were ready to end our night though. Luckily, the hippie decided to invite us all over to her apartment for a party afterwards. Of course, we were all in. J, B, and I parted ways with everybody else to get over there. As we were walking to an ATM, we run into two random girls. I got talking with one who was very friendly with me. I had been drinking, and well, let's try to have some fun. We continued walking for a few blocks, but then J and B decided we needed to part way with these girls. One of the girls tried to give me her number, but she just wasn't up to par. So, I pretended my phone was dead. Surprisingly, it worked even though she saw me on my phone earlier.
I wish I could say it ended there with her. As B, J, and I walked away, she called after me. I turned back, and before I knew it her and I were making out. She wanted me to go back to her place with her, but I knew something wasn't right if B and J were so quick to leave her. It was then I decided to put my friends ahead, and went back to them. Apparently, this girl (as B and J learned from her friend) had not only a boyfriend, but a child. It looks like I dodged a bullet there.
With that debacle behind me, it was off to the party for the rest of us. The hippie's apartment was a few blocks away so we were there rather quickly. As soon as I entered, the hippie gave me a huge hug. Inspecting the apartment we noticed a random collection of CD's, candles, and one pretty awesome collection of Troll dolls. J and I looked around and wanted to take a bunch of stuff with us. I had noticed the album Brothers by the Black Keys sitting on the table. I started looking through the liner notes and thought they were pretty interesting. So, being a good friend, J shoved them into his pocket.
We pretty much sat around for a little while, but then J and I got pretty bored so we began to explore. I went to the kitchen and found some goldfish crackers, times were good. We noticed a dark bedroom and entered. It ended up being a woman's room, and on the dresser J noticed a bottle of perfume. Like any person would be, we were curious as to what it smelled like. Naturally, we sprayed it. It smelled like rotting flowers and crotch.
We continued our adventure and ended up in a bedroom where a bunch of people were hanging out. I noticed a guy in the corner was doing something and on further inspection, I realized he was rolling a joint. As he asked J and I if he wanted any, a rude intruder entered the room: the hippie.
"Who the hell sprayed my perfume? I can smell it in here."
J and I looked at each other thinking we were busted. The hippie began walking up to everybody, trying to, literally, sniff out the criminal. She reached J and I, it was over.
"It was you. I smell it on you."
She. Was. Pissed. She looked at me and directly asked if I did it. I had two options: I could be honest and say I did it, or I could lie.
"You hugged me when I came in and you were playing with my hair at the bar. It probably just rubbed off of you onto me," I said with obvious desperation.
"Yeah, I guess that makes sense."
The hippie then turned to J. I walked out of the room and to this day I have not asked him how he got out of it. I felt bad for leaving him there to hang and don't have the courage to revisit it with him. All I know was that he walked out of the room behind me, and the door was closed.
Now normal people who have likely left. Instead, J and I needed revenge on this girl. So, I walked into her room with my goldfish crackers in hand and began pouring them in her burnt out candles. I continued to do it with other candles in the apartment. When I was done, I put the goldfish crackers back where they were in the kitchen and washed my hands. As I washed my hands, I noticed an Oscar-Meyer Weenie whistle proudly on display on a shelf in the kitchen. I could have left it, but that would be too nice. I took the whistle, got J, and we left the apartment never to return.
After we left the apartment, we headed back to J's. When we got there, we ate some cake and slept until the late afternoon the next day. Everyday I wake up and see the Black Keys liner notes hanging proudly on my wall, and everyday J sits at his desk, he sees that Weenie Whistle. Both serve as reminders to us that no matter how pissed a hippie gets at us, we always end up with the upper hand.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a few more stories of this nature to share with you, dear Bstn. Hell, the night immediately after this one saw a friend break a windshield at a party, had me face to face with a girl I may have scored with the weekend before, and meeting a girl who sat and Googled everything about me as we got to know each other.
For a preview, future stories will include: snakes, scorpions, lesbians, hook-ups, a Jon Stewart "obsessee," acceptances, rejections, homeless men, old men, Irish men, cock blocks, fire alarms, lies, shame, toilets overflowing, public plungers, illegal break-ins, Marines, keg stands, dizzy bat, more lies, more shame, free drinks, free cover, free pizza, lacrosse players, arm wrestling, and even sneaking onto the field at Beaver Stadium during the homecoming game.
Get ready.
