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Post by hopoff34 on Jan 9, 2005 2:28:36 GMT -5
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nafsder2007
All-Conference
Teh P@ncakes God
Return to Glory?
Posts: 2,256
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Post by nafsder2007 on Jan 9, 2005 9:39:12 GMT -5
I like. ;D A newbie who understands that the site is about writing, not about having flashy pictures and HTML. Anyway, what you can do to push your stories up a level, at least in my book, is throw in some quotes, and stop using the first person (our, we) to make it sound more like a newspaper or magazine article. Traditional style, looks to be good. And don't be flustered if everybody tells you you need HTML, because you don't. But if you do give in to them, let me know, I can teach you a thing or two.
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Post by mauckman14 on Jan 9, 2005 13:51:32 GMT -5
Dude I like your writing you have a lot of potential. Im not going to rate until you get about half way through the season. Nafsder is right dont use the first person. Ok I myself like the layouts. It makes your page look way better and it gives you more ideas to your page. Just have fun with. Also im not a big fan of how you set up your recaps just act like your a newspaper jounalist writing a story about the game.
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Post by hopoff34 on Jan 9, 2005 14:07:43 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback. I just put up the week 2 preview and i'm about to play the game.
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Post by hopoff34 on Jan 9, 2005 16:13:39 GMT -5
I just put up the game against ther Chargers. I made a trade that is now the top story. What do you think of the trade? Any thoughts?
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nafsder2007
All-Conference
Teh P@ncakes God
Return to Glory?
Posts: 2,256
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Post by nafsder2007 on Jan 9, 2005 17:19:57 GMT -5
Suggestion: More writing like your first few, less of the one paragraph stuff.
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Post by hopoff34 on Jan 9, 2005 19:04:24 GMT -5
I got the Miami Dolphins game up. It was a close one. Also if its possible can someone vote for my Dynasty. ;D
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JETS393
All-Conference
Posts: 1,491
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Post by JETS393 on Jan 9, 2005 19:22:22 GMT -5
theres a couple gramatical errors and you seem to switch back and forth between 1st and 3rd person, and present and past tense
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Post by hopoff34 on Jan 10, 2005 22:23:04 GMT -5
I'll be doing my next game tomorrow. I would also like to thanks Nafsder for helping me with HTML, and the person that gave my diary a 7.0.
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Post by hopoff34 on Jan 13, 2005 20:56:22 GMT -5
Sorry that this hasn't been updated i've haven't been feeling to good so I have'nt played any Madden. I should have my next game up by the weekend.
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