cooljayhu
All-Conference
You Moterboatin' Son of a Bitch
Posts: 3,418
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Awkward
Jan 20, 2008 18:03:12 GMT -5
Post by cooljayhu on Jan 20, 2008 18:03:12 GMT -5
you reminded of another freaking story! A buddy of mine pulled the "Pirate Hooker" on a girl. Basically you pop in the girl's eye then kick her in the shin. She'll hop around on one leg with one eye closed saying "arr!"
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Awkward
Jan 20, 2008 18:06:05 GMT -5
Post by Freak93 on Jan 20, 2008 18:06:05 GMT -5
Jalapeño Peppers
I figured that might bring something else up.
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JackTheRipper
All-American
I farted my way out of an elevator..
Posts: 5,476
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Awkward
Jan 20, 2008 18:12:12 GMT -5
Post by JackTheRipper on Jan 20, 2008 18:12:12 GMT -5
Jalapeño Peppers I figured that might bring something else up. A Hitler? |
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cooljayhu
All-Conference
You Moterboatin' Son of a Bitch
Posts: 3,418
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Awkward
Jan 20, 2008 18:12:13 GMT -5
Post by cooljayhu on Jan 20, 2008 18:12:13 GMT -5
nothing comes to mind, I do have a friend who contracted gonorrhea from a girl in Mexico
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cooljayhu
All-Conference
You Moterboatin' Son of a Bitch
Posts: 3,418
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Awkward
Feb 17, 2008 21:15:28 GMT -5
Post by cooljayhu on Feb 17, 2008 21:15:28 GMT -5
Ok yeah I hate to bring up an old thread but I heard of two new ones last night. These were not by me or even my friends but by my friends' friends. BTW tales not for the faint of heart:
Ok the first one, this guy takes home this girl after the bar and the do it and whatever. In the morning she leaves and he walks into his living room where his group of friends is chillin out. So he does the whole Dane Cook "shazam" but is only greeted with blank stares and open mouths. Confused, he asks them what the problem was, I mean he thought the girlwas smoking hot. So one of the friends tells him the bad news, he had ring of dry blood around his mouth. Yeah I know disgusting.
And the second and more disturbing story, so this guy picks up this girl at the bar and they go back to her place and get busy. In the morning he wakes up naked with his clothes (including his cell and wallet) nowhere to be seen. So, pissed and still quite drunk, he concocts his revenge plan. He takes a dump on her bed then subsequently smears it on the walls. Wow, just wow you say, but that isn't the end. He steals a clean blanket and heads downstairs. To his shock he finds the girl cooking him breakfast and washing his clothes cause he puked on them last night. End of the story right? He must have bolted and never came back right? Wrong. He stayed and ate breakfast, took his freshly washed clothes and left. Wow.
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darjarbinx
All-Conference
Chase Utley = My Boo
Posts: 3,267
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Awkward
Feb 17, 2008 21:36:02 GMT -5
Post by darjarbinx on Feb 17, 2008 21:36:02 GMT -5
What a man. Anytime poop is incorporated into a story it is a bonus.
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Awkward
Feb 17, 2008 23:14:20 GMT -5
Post by SilverChaosVII on Feb 17, 2008 23:14:20 GMT -5
It's DARJAR!!!!
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JackTheRipper
All-American
I farted my way out of an elevator..
Posts: 5,476
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Awkward
Feb 18, 2008 12:47:58 GMT -5
Post by JackTheRipper on Feb 18, 2008 12:47:58 GMT -5
And the second and more disturbing story, so this guy picks up this girl at the bar and they go back to her place and get busy. In the morning he wakes up naked with his clothes (including his cell and wallet) nowhere to be seen. So, pissed and still quite drunk, he concocts his revenge plan. He takes a dump on her bed then subsequently smears it on the walls. Wow, just wow you say, but that isn't the end. He steals a clean blanket and heads downstairs. To his shock he finds the girl cooking him breakfast and washing his clothes cause he puked on them last night. End of the story right? He must have bolted and never came back right? Wrong. He stayed and ate breakfast, took his freshly washed clothes and left. Wow. *slow golf clap* |
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